Love Of My Life
by Aaliyaahxoxo
Summary: Diem has been living in the shadows all of her life, until her last year of high school everything changes. Everything. Her life is a continuous whirlpool that continues to swirl drama around. This year has changed everything she's ever known, now whether it has changed for the best or worse is your decision. A Paul Imprint story. I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT.
1. Prologue

I walked along the road, rain hitting my navy blue jacket with a smack in multiple places. I didn't know why I didn't just let my dad pick me up, at the time I wanted to walk, of course that was until it started to pour and my dark brown chestnut hair was sticking to my neck. My already tight jeans felt like second skin and I could feel the rain drops sliding down my collarbone.

When I finally got home, I ran upstairs and quickly took off my soaking wet clothes. I lay on my bed naked, enjoying who I was.

I knew in a few minutes he'd call me freaking out over nothing as usual.

I also knew that he loved me with everything he had in him and that made my smile permanently grace my lips.

This year has been a whirlpool.

I was finally noticed as a human being and not just the principal's dorky daughter.

I was hit with a big shock that caused utter chaos in my life.

I was brought into the real world with a sidekick,

And I received a beautiful guardian angel.

My guardian angel.

The love of my life.

Paul.


	2. More than anyone else

As usual I was reading in the hallway beside my locker at lunch. I loved reading; it brought you into a world you would most likely never be able to go and allowed you to expand your mind. I wanted nothing more than to live somewhere besides the world I'm currently in.

La Push High.

There was about 400 students, maybe a few more and not one of them noticed me. Except one. Paul Lahote- my best friend since I could remember. No one could believe that Paul, the star of the football team, hot tempered womanizer was _my_ friend, but he was. Paul and I have been friends since 2nd grade when I pushed him in a puddle for trying to look under my dress. We didn't normally hangout at school- not because he was embarrassed or anything- on several occasions he's tried to get me to sit at the 'popular' table but I always declined. I was content with my books and happy being independent; it was what I thrived for. Independence.

I didn't necessarily want friends especially because Paul was more than enough but I did want a girl friend that I could talk to when I was crushing on guys or when I was craving a Hershey's chocolate bar because my period was driving me crazy. If I did have a girl friend to talk about all that stuff with, she'd hear about the same person over and over again.

The same person I could never get over.

Paul.

Paul was not the jackass he showed everyone- well most of the time- he was actually a sweetheart but hid it and only let it shine with people he trusted.

Whenever people would pick on me, mostly because I was the Principal's daughter and people always thought I got special treatment although that was not the case at all, I just loved learning about new things and wouldn't hold back that part of myself to stop getting teased in the halls or pushed around in the cafeteria. Paul would always confront them, of course it was funny when he'd step to the girl's who so badly wanted to sleep with him and pretended to kid around with me so they wouldn't lose their shot with him.

Oddly enough it never bothered me that Paul got around. I knew that he wanted to be needed, and wanted to be wanted by the female population, so he did what he could to get that feeling he so desperately missed during his adolescent years, and what he did to feel needed from the opposite sex was to sleep with them.

But I could tell it didn't work.

And why would it?

Those girls didn't love him like I did, they just wanted to have something to gossip about, something to make them more popular because they slept with the hottest guy in school.

When Paul's mom started drinking, Paul started his womanizing streak. He got around with girls here and there, not enough for him to be a man-whore but enough that people noticed. After his mother passed away from a drunk driving incident Paul turned into the biggest man-whore of La Push and has kept that title for 3 years straight.

I remember one time I joked around with him and asked him why he never thought of trying anything with me, and he said he didn't want to ruin the most beautiful thing he had in his life. I told him he never would and he smiled then stole my bag of popcorn.

He was the best thing in my life, I just wish he knew what I meant, the truth behind every ' I love you' the real meaning behind every 'your an asshole'.

I was currently reading The Great Gatsby by Scott Fitzgerald , a book I've read a thousand times and practically had memorised. If I have learned anything from this novel, it was that love kills. The most powerful thing in the world will kill you and nobody has found a weapon against it.

I wanted the love I had for Paul to be the weapon against the suicidal love people had.

I wanted my love for Paul to be powerful, omnipotent and wild.

"Hey Diem, watcha doin? Don't you usually run your little legs to mrs. Clarkes class 5 minutes before the bell ?" I didn't even have to look up to tell you who that was.

"Little legs? You know if you were normal and weren't a fricking giant you would see that my legs are actually long." I said after scoffing at his remark. I looked up from my book and smiled. He didn't show this type of smile to anyone but me and it made my life time and time again. He laughed.

"Whatever c'mon small fry, you don't want to be late to English." He held out his hands for me to take then pulled me up. Once I was on my feet he then picked up my books and backpack and handed them to me.

"Thanks," I smiled at him. "And I'm the average height for girls my age so your statement about being a 'small fry' is invalid." I turned and smiled smugly at him, then walked away with him quickly matching my pace.

As we walked to English, Paul was stopped by Gabriella Vegas, a surprisingly nice girl- well compared to the others. From what I knew he had taken her on a couple of actual dates and has slept with her but he said they weren't officially dating. When he told me this information two weeks ago I did my best to let it slide... didn't work out to well.

"Hey Paul are we still on for tomorrow night?" she asked smiling at him while touching his biceps.

Wait a second.

Did she just say tomorrow?

As in Wednesday?

As in Paul and I's movie nights?

I held back the sudden urge to punch him. How could he ditch me for some slu-

"Sorry I'm doing something tomorrow, maybe another day." He fixed her with a smile that didn't quite touch his eyes and continued walking with me beside him. "I'll call you." He said when he turned his head around to where Gabriella was still standing.

I smiled. I couldn't help it.

I knew he liked Gabriella more than any of the other girls he has 'dated' and yet he still wouldn't cancel our sacred plans to be with her.

"What are you smiling about?" Paul asked holding the door open for me to walk into our English class.

"Just something my mom said earlier this morning about animal crackers." I said to him as I took my seat, with him taking his seat behind me. I turned around to face him.

"And that was?" Paul said already smiling; he knew how psycho my mom was. Well psycho wasn't really the way to put it, she was more... a free spirit.

"She said that Animal crackers were the route of the evil because they encouraged kids to eat animals and enjoy eating them because they tasted so good." I shook my head remembering my morning debate with my mom. My mom was a supreme vegetarian and basically tackled anyone who ate meat ten miles radius, so imagine my life whenever I wanted a hotdog. Paul laughed loudly causing people in the class to turn and look at us.

"Only your mom would come up with something like that, man, I'm so having breakfast with you guys more often. Remember the last time?" Paul said smirking, humour in his brown- gold eyes. I rolled my eyes.

"How could I forget? You basically teamed up on me after I stated how much I hated marshmallows. I'm still mad at you for that." Paul and my mom together was one heck of a dispute team, I never one a single discussion when they agreed on things and yet? It made me smile because of how well Paul and my mom got along. Paul snorted at my comment.

"Who the hell hates marshmallows? Insane people that's who." I rolled my eyes at him and turned around once the bell rang and Mrs. Clarke walked into the room. I felt Paul's breath tickle my ear and my breath hitched. Every time he was extremely close my heart would beat 10 times faster.

"Watch out the witch has entered, just wait till she starts cackling. I give it 20 minutes. What about you?" I turned my body slightly around and gave him a disapproving look.

"Mrs. Clarke is the nicest teacher in this hellhole," I said with a conviction.

"No, Mr. Jackman is." Paul said, I shook my head.

"Yeah, only to math freaks. He hates my guts."

"Awe thanks Diem, seeing as I'm included in that 'math freaks category', and he only hates you because your dad made him chaperone the dance when his wife was having Braxton hicks, or whatever there called." Paul smirked.

"Oh shut up, you know you're a freak deep down," I smiled a half smile.

"Do you want a taste of that freaky side?" he smirked, the smirk that won all the girls over and I rolled my eyes.

"Save that for Gabriella." I turned around and paid attention to Mrs. Clarke surprised she didn't address us for talking; she usually always did.

After English, Paul and I separated our ways as he had Tribal class and I had biology. When I got to my biology class I took my normal seat at the back and turned towards the window that was placed in front of the school parking lot.

Jared Cameron, Paul's best friend- besides me of course- was there beside his green old Chevy truck along with some of the other guys on the football team. They were all laughing about until, I'm assuming, someone said an insult to Jared and he got mad. Jared walked right up to – from what it looked like Joey Wikowski and was shaking. I mean like actually shaking. His body was moving really quickly and looked like he was blurring. The guys from the football team all dispersed rather quickly.

Then the most unexpected thing happened.

Sam Uley walked out of the forest, barefoot and only wearing cut-offs and grabbed Jared with what had to be undeniable strength and pulled him into the forest with him.

I probably looked like a gaping fish staring at the window.

"Mrs. Lilac care to share what's so interesting in the parking lot?" Mr. Devon said, the whole class laughed. What a cliché. The teacher catches you doing something embarrassing and everyone in the class laughs like they were at a comedy show watching Russell Peters.

"No Mr. Devon." I said turning away from the window and facing him.

"Good, now class takeout your homework, I'm coming around and checking." Everyone groaned. The only sound heard was the zippers on backpacks and the paper being swiped against another piece as kids looked for their homework in there binders.

I did as told- I always did, but the only thing I could think of was Jared.

What the hell was that?

I've never seen anyone shake like that until...

Until Paul last week.

But what did the shaking mean was the question I carried for the rest of the day.

**A/N: Hey guys! I'd love to hear what you think about the story, I know it's only the first chapter but I'd still like comments **** so Review and Let me know ideas you may have so I could try to fit it in the story. REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW xoxo**


	3. News and Hits

The white walls reminded me of an asylum, pale white like someone who was no longer alive, living but not alive. I was at the hospital getting my birth controls pills, something I thought would take minutes slowly and I mean really slow- turned into hours. My doctor asked to speak to me, so grudgingly I texted Paul and told him I was going to be late and just wait in the living room.

'everything alrite?' he texted back, I smiled.

'fine, just don't eat the sour patches I have on my bed or I'll kill you.' I quickly typed back.

' lol wouldn't dream of it.'

' I mean it.'

The doctor walked in and I quickly put my phone away. When I looked up at his almost stone, archaic looking face it held worry. He closed the door and continued to walk until he was sitting down on the black leather wheelie chair.

"Diem, I think you should have a seat." Dr. Cullen's face didn't change, I slowly sat on the bed behind me and looked at him.

"What is it Dr. Cullen?" I was nervous, his face usually carried a pleasant smile, one every woman fell for. I didn't like this hesitant yet sorrowing looked he had.

"The birth control you were subscribed by Carolyn has been undergoing some tests."

"OK...what type of tests?" not exactly what I thought he was going to say...

"There have been some accusations against the Hypernail pills, and after undergoing a few tests the accusations were said to be accurate." Dr. Cullen's voice had more and more sadness with each word he spoke. "The Hypernail pill carries a type of disease that is fatal to woman.

"What type of disease Dr. Cullen?" he looked at me and sighed, "Tell me, I can handle it."

"Ovarian Cancer, but we're not sure if everyone taking the pill has caught it but we're testing everyone and-"

I couldn't hear what he was saying anymore. All I heard was cancer.

I might have cancer?

My life might actually be ending sooner then I thought and I was oblivious to everything going on inside of my body.

No.

"Give me the test." I said with a stern tone, completely interrupting him. he looked up at me shocked.

"I'm afraid you're going to have to-"

"I need to take the test." I said looking straight into his weirdly golden eyes, a sign that told me he wasn't normal.

"We're going to need a parent's consent since you not 18 years old yet." Before he finished his sentence I was speed dialling my mom.

After three rings she picked up.

"Hey honey. Isn't today yours and Paul's movie night?" my mom's voice made the tears fall from eyes that I was desperately trying to hold back. What if I did have cancer? I couldn't leave my mom.

"I- I need you to-"I took the phone away from my ear and let the sob I was holding back break through.

"Need me to bring you condoms?" she whispered the last part, "I knew you weren't as much of a prude as you wanted me to believe, but Diem I don't think-"

"Mom, I need you and dad to come to the hospital to sign a consent form." I said in one breath, again trying to hold back more tears.

"Why- what on earth- Diem what's going on?" my mom said in a serious tone- a voice a rarely heard.

I looked at Dr. Cullen who was sitting in the stool wheelie and handed him the phone. He looked at my tear stained face for a few seconds and took the phone. He explained everything to my mother over the phone and I could have sworn I heard her cars exhaust in the background.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(D)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When my parents got to the hospital they met me in the waiting room. My dad stayed with me while my mom went to talk to the nurse at the front office. My dad kept whispering in my ear that everything was going to be okay, but I couldn't believe that. How could everything be okay if I was living with cancer? I was dying more rapidly then my grandfather and he was 92 years old. How could anyone survive this?

My mom had only joined us for 20 minutes when Dr. Cullen came back with a grave look on his face.

"Are you ready Diem?" was I ready? The answer was simple. I was not.

"Yes." I stood up from my seat, kissed both my parents on the cheek and followed dr. Cullen down the hall way.

He led me into a room I was in earlier, white walls, the same chair except there was bed in the middle of the room. The bed was white and did not look comforting in the slightest. I don't know if it was just me but the 'bed' looked more like a coffin with blue UV rays surrounding the cover.

After I got dressed In the white hospital gown I was faced with . He had dark brown hair, a friendly looking face that was wearing a smile, although his blue eyes held sympathy.

"Alright Diem, just lay on the x-ray bed and we can get started." His voice was very professional, held no emotion whatsoever, but I guess when you were a doctor you faced a lot of deadly situations where you had to keep you emotions in check. I took a deep breath and stepped on the stairs at the side of the bed and laid down without a word.

started pressing some buttons on the panel beside me and I was suddenly sliding, my face was met with the cover of the bed for a couple seconds and then I was at the end of the bed with everything from my chest down was covered with the blue light. I heard beeping, getting louder and louder.

"What- what is that noise?" I said frantically looking into those blue eyes.

"It's you heart rate, in order to do this test you have to calm down Miss Lilac."

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.

The only thing I thought of before the doctor said it was starting was my best friend.

I thought of Paul.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(D)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After the test my parents and I waited in the waiting room. I looked down at my phone and saw that it was only 8:00pm. Thank god it wasn't that late. When the nurse at the front desk told us to finally go home because the results wouldn't be in till nearly midnight my parents and I walked out.

While we were walking to our cars, my mom and dad walking to my dad's and I walking to mine I didn't say a word. I had nothing to say. My mom was silent too, a first, and my dad was trying to be normal by saying random things about what's happening at the school. Every time he was directing something to me I just nodded my head. When I got to my car my dad grabbed my arm.

"Diem, we have to talk about this," he said. I looked away from his eyes and gently moved his hand off my elbow.

"And we will dad, but not tonight. Paul's waiting for me at home for our movie night."

"Well then tell him to go home. Me, your mother and yourself are going to talk about this, Diem." My dad said I could tell he was angry, but I knew even if he was directing his anger towards me it wasn't meant for me.

"Dad I don't want to talk about it to-"

"Dammit it Diem I said we are going to talk about it-"

"Tom, just let her watch a movie with Paul and we'll talk about it later." My mom who was quiet throughout this whole outburst said. He looked into her eyes and then nodded.

I hugged them both goodbye then drove off. When I was at the La push and Forks border I stopped the car and pulled over to the side.

I cried.

I just couldn't hold it in anymore. The unknown was killing me, I was trying to be strong for my parents but I didn't know how. I really wanted to be a strong person, who could take this world head on but I just couldn't be the raging bull that saw red and went for it. I couldn't be strong.

When I finally stopped crying and wiped all the salty water off my face I looked in the mirror; a mistake. My eyes were red and blotchy and my eyes still had unshed tears staring at me with a vengeance. I rolled my eyes and the tears slowly rolled down my cheeks as I looked out my windshield, I looked down and prayed for a strength that I knew I had buried inside of me. When I looked up I jumped. I was met with brown eyes, huge brown eyes, human eyes to be exact, which was incredibly odd seeing as they belonged to a huge, white and grey spotted wolf. The wolf looked at me with a weird knowing glint in its eyes and then I could have sworn nodded before running into the forest. Why did the look at me like that? Like it knew I was crying?

When I got home I parked my car beside the stairs and walked in my house. I was immediately met with the smell of spaghetti and smiled. Paul was definitely here. When I closed the door of my house he walked out of the kitchen smiling but stopped once he saw my face.

"What's wrong Diem?" he said urgently, like he was ready to face anyone that hurt me.

"Nothing, don't worry about it Paul," I looked away from his face and walked to the coat hanger to hang my jean jacket.

"Then why are your eyes puffy and your eyelashes wet?" he said his voice gruff. Of course he didn't believe me. He knew me like the back of his hand.

"When I was driving home a bug went in my eye. Now are you going to give me some of the spaghetti or not?" I looked at him with my arms crossed under my chest and smirked. He smiled and walked into the kitchen with me following.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(D)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After Paul and I finished eating our dinner we walked into the living room and to watch a movie. I went over to my DVD stack and started listing names.

"Hairspray?" I asked looking up at him just to see his face. I laughed

"You have got to be kidding." His face showed a look of disgust.

"A Walk to Remember?" I said using my puppy dog eyes; he usually caved after about the third time but maybe today was a good day. He shook his head not looking me in the eye.

"House Bunny? It's actually a really good movie," I said.

"How about no? How about something actually good like...What about fast and furious?" he said, it was my turn to show my disgust.

"Oh yeah because watching a group of thief's continue to do more crimes and race expensive looking cars is just the way to go, besides my dad lent it to Quil." Paul rolled his eyes.

"That's the best part Lily," every time he used that nickname it made my heart smile- extremely corny I know- but it was true. It always brought back a rush of memories.

"I think I'll pass on that one Otis... how about A Walk To Remember?" I said with a smile that showed my dimples- something Paul always said he loved about my smile. He groaned.

"Oh my god fine, but after we're watching what the hell I want to watch and you have to share your sour patches with me."

I quickly nodded my head and got up from my position in front of the TV and sat on the couch. When I sat beside him I leaned over to get the DVD remote on the coffee table.

"Don't you have to put the movie in the DVD player?" he asked.

"I already did this morning before I left for school." I could feel his playful glare on the side of my right cheek.

"You already knew I'd cave like a pussy didn't you." I turned to look at him smiling widely and nodded.

"Now hurry up and get the sour patches on my bed so I can start the movie."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(D)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After Paul and I finished watching A Walk To Remember I got up from my comfortable position of sitting on the couch with Paul's head in my lap, something that always happened when we watched movies and went to put on 2 packets of popcorn while Paul put in the movie of his choosing.

While I was waiting for the second packet to be finished in the microwave the phone rang. I walked over to the other side of my rather large kitchen and picked it up the white cordless phone with my left hand since I was holding one bowl of popcorn in the other needlessly picking at cornels.

"Hello?" I said politely.

"Hi, this is Dr. Brewen, we have the results from Diem's Cancer test," my heart skipped a beat.

"Um, this is Diem." I said my voice quivering.

"Oh, well are your parents there? It's really important I speak with them about this."

"No, they won't be home until later, but whatever the results are I can tell them," I said trying to get a hold on the shaking quality that seemed to have installed itself into my voice. I heard Dr. Brewen sigh on the other line; that did not seem like a positive intake of breath at all.

"After thoroughly looking over the test, it has been labelled as a positive." The doctor's voice went unprofessional at the end and cracked. As for me tears were sliding down my face, I closed my eyes and prayed this was all a dream. A nightmare. "Diem are you there?" I took a deep breath.

"Yes, if I may ask, what type of cancer is it...?" I said in low voice.

"Ovarian, but because-" I zoned out. The phone slid out of my hand with the popcorn bowl following its lead and met with the floor.

Why was this happening to me?

"Diem? What happened?" I heard Paul's voice from above me and cried even harder. I could possibly be leaving him sooner than I could have ever planned. I could be leaving everyone I loved sooner. This wasn't fair.

Paul came down beside me and pried my hands off my face easily even though I was using all the strength I had.

I guess life was showing me a stronger force could master your strength with ease.

"What's wrong baby girl?" he said making me look into his brown- gold eyes.

The tears kept coming and word couldn't follow. This was not the way it was supposed to be.

Paul picked me up and brought me the living room couch and just held me. he rubbed my back whispering everything was going to be okay, but how could that possibly be true? Everything was destroyed. Broken. Broken far beyond repair.

After an hour of just crying in his arms, he asked me again after bringing me a cup of water.

"What's wrong Diem?" he said his face flooded with worry, his eyes looked watery.

Paul was not a fan of crying, and he didn't do it often but he always told me he had a hard time not crying when he saw me in tears.

"I have-" I sobbed, how was I supposed to tell him? I couldn't even let the words out myself.

"You have what honey?" he said in a soft voice like he was talking to a china doll. One wrong move and they'd break.

I took a deep breath.

I had to tell him.

"Ovarian Cancer." I whispered and the tears sprang free once again.

Paul didn't say anything.

He just stared at me, looking at me in disbelief.

But after a few moments his face contorted into anger and he started shaking. He got up from the couch and started yelling out curse words.

"What the fuck! How the fuck could this be happening?" he continued on yelling rhetorical questions I have been asking myself since the doctor informed me of the news.

"Paul you have to calm down." I said louder than my usual soft tone.

I knew Paul wasn't trying to make this about him; he just cared about me a lot and was probably as worried as I was. After all I was the only female in his life that had yet to leave and now I could possibly be leaving him? It wasn't fair. To him or I, we needed each other.

Paul looked at me with a glare. A real glare.

It was a look full of hatred, one I have never seen before.

Certainly a look he has never used on me before.

"HOW THE FUCK DO YOU EXPECT ME TO CALM DOWN WHEN YOU FUCKING TELL ME NEWS LIKE THAT HUH? HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOUR I WAS IN YOUR POSISTION." He was literally screaming at me, his body was shaking faster than before and his eyes? His eyes no longer had that gold tint. They we're dark dark brown.

This was not Paul.

I can honestly say that after all the years I've known Paul I have never been scared of his massive temper fits, today I was.

The door to my house was flung open, smacking the wall with a loud bang as Jared and Sam Uley walked in, both shirtless and wearing cut offs. Jared looked completely different then when I last saw him in the parking lot a day ago and Sam looked even bigger than when I saw him that day too. What the hell?

They grabbed Paul and forced him out of my house.

I just sat on my couch too stunned to move.

I was literally in shock from everything that had happened in the past 7 hours.

My Mom always talked about life being a whirl pool. Everything seems like it's going in a straight line until it turns in a way that is unexpected. A circle can start off being straight but then comes back around to meet the beginning on the line. My mom said if you wanted to beat the whirl pool keep walking straight, that way when the force of the turn doesn't hit you too hard.

I guess this was my first hit.

**A/N: hey guys! I know this Is probably not what you expected but i'm kind of basing this fanfic off a true story so yeah... but it will end as happy story thanks to the supernatural world so please don't hate me. **

**Review Review REVIEW **

**Xoxoxo- Aaliyah **


	4. Golden Light

The past couple of days I just sat at my room staring at a baby picture of Paul and I. I was burying him in the sand and he was trying to take away my red shovel, both of us smiling happily and carefree- kind of like how it always was when we were together. After that shaking fiasco on Wednesday I haven't seen or talked to Paul, something that has never happened before. It felt so odd, like I had a hammer constantly making contact with my heart.

It felt so wrong that I was worrying about Paul and not about my own... issue. After my parents came home they saw me crying on the couch. My mom came to comfort me as my dad called the hospital to get the identical news that I got only 3 hours before. My parents and I had a very tearful discussion about what we would do but honestly? I couldn't help but let my life wonder to Paul. I don't know what it was, there was something telling me that Paul was the only thing I should focus on and the fact that he hasn't responded to my texts or calls was telling me that something was up. Paul _never_ ignored my calls.

The more I kept thinking about Paul ignoring me the angrier I became. Why the heck was he acting like that? What did I do? Did something change between us that I had no idea about? I was the one with a fatal situation and he was ignoring me?

So?

I did what any normal seventeen year old would do in my situation.

I threw a tantrum.

While crying.

It was like something took control of my body, froze my mind still and made me act out. I was usually a very calm person but something in me **snapped. ** My world has completely changed. I wanted to pretend.

I wanted to forget.

I wanted everything to be how it was before I found out I had cancer. Paul and I still the best of friends, my mom still a slight wack job and my dad the responsible and temperamental one. I prayed for everything to be like how it was.

You can never go back in time, all you can do is move forward.

I did not want to move forward, I didn't want to continue what was to come if this was how it was going to start off.

Eventually my mom and dad came in and calmed me down...my dad had me in a death hold. When I finally had control over my body again we all just cried together again on my bedroom floor.

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It was Tuesday; the day I was going back to school since I've received the news. The only reason I was slightly excited was because I was hoping I may see Paul. Since I was going to continue to pretend, I decided to dress like I normally would. I put on a white tank top with a flower design invading most of the top, dark washed skinny jeans and brown boots with slight heels. I put on minimal make-up which consisted of clear lip-gloss, black eyeliner in my water line and mascara. My dark brown hair was in a pony tail and my ear lobes were covered with medium sized pear studs. I grabbed my black framed glasses and walked out of my room to the kitchen and sat down at the table where there was already scrambled eggs waiting for me.

"Good morning honey," my dad said, sitting across from me drinking coffee.

"Good morning dad," I smiled at him then started eating my breakfast.

"Sweetie, if you don't want to go to school-"My mom started to say.

"No mom, I want to. I just want everything to be normal...while it can be."

I ate my breakfast quickly so I could get back to the school that much sooner and try looking for Paul. I got up from my chair and put my dishes In the sink. I kissed my mom on the cheek and then walked over to my seat and grabbed my bag.

"Okay dad I'm ready," I said keeping my voice normal.

"Diem, If you don't want to go, you don't have to." My parents both looked at me. I sighed.

"I understand that this is a serious... but I really just want to go back to my old life... even if its impossible I want to pretend. So please just let me pretend." I said looking at both my parents pleadingly.

My mom and dad opened there arms at the same time- kind of creepy how in sync they were sometimes- and we joined in a group hug.

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When my dad dropped me off at the front, like he normally did before he went to the staff parking lot, I felt very watched. Everyone around me was staring at me. I walked up the stairs and had random people greeting me like we've been friends forever. What in the world? I walked to my locker and exchanged my books quickly so I could catch Paul at his locker.

When I got to Paul's locker I waited for 5 minutes and he still hadn't shown up. Did that mean he wasn't at school? Or was he just late? I stopped Lanni Headner in the hall to ask if she's seen Paul.

"Nope, rumor is, he hasn't been in school since last Wednesday." I thanked her and she smiled at me then went on her way. The bell rang shortly after, but I didn't care I desperately needed to see him so I was going to wait. He was going to come today, I just knew it.

Why was he not at school?

This was just like...

No way.

This was exactly like Jared.

Jared had a shaking fiasco, stopped going to school for a couple days and then BAM. He comes to school looking hotter than ever- not that I cared, Paul was the only guy I ever saw in that way.

There was no way this would be a repeat with...

Just as I thought that I saw Paul walk through the side doors.

He got taller, much taller in fact. His hair was cropped short and his muscles were more defined than before.

But none of that physical stuff mattered to me.

When I looked at his face he looked extremely angry, he was walking in my direction but walked right past me. What the heck? I know he saw me; I was after all the only person in this damn hallway.

Once again something in me snapped.

I stalked after him and pulled on his arm.

"Paul! What the hell is going on?" I exclaimed. He didn't even turn to look at me, he just kept walking. Was he serious? After everything that's happened he was going to pretend I didn't exist?

"Wow some best friend you are. I tell you I'm basically dying and you just ignore me? What now that I'm going to be gone quicker-" I didn't finish my sentence. Paul turned around so quickly and grabbed my arm.

"Look I-"

Something happened.

His collided with mine and I felt it and I know he did too. His face was no longer contorted into a snarl. I stared into his beautiful eyes and drowned. I drowned in the gold specks that seemed to be calling to me. my body felt like it was suffocating me, my soul wanted to break free and join with Paul's, his spirit was so beautiful.

Everything made sense.

The first time I told my mom I had a crush on him she asked me why, I was six at the time and I said

"He's nice, has nice smile, makes me laugh, squeezes me till I stop crying and has the most pretty eyes." I was sitting on the patio while my mom was watering the plants. My mom laughed.

"You hate your brown eyes." My mom said with humour In her voice. I rolled my eyes.

"Mooom, I told you, my brown eyes suck. But Paul's eyes are really really pretty." I insisted. My mom laughed again.

"I'm not sure I've ever heard anyone find brown eyes so pretty before." My mom smirked.

"There not just brown eyes mom, they have gold flakes in them." I said getting excited. Gold was such a pretty color.

"Gold? Diem? Are you sure Paul didn't just squeeze the sense out of you?" my mom laughed again and I was beginning to get upset. I got up and stomped my foot with my hands on my tiny hips. My mom looked over at me, "Don't stomp your foot at me, it's not very nice Diem."

"But mom you're not being very nice either! Paul has gold in his eyes I swear it! the next time he comes over I'll show you."I promised.

From that day forward my mom would always say

"I still don't see gold."

Whenever she would look at Paul, and he would always ask me what she was talking about but I'd just shake my head and tell him it's nothing to worry about.

I now knew why.

Paul was golden.

The only reason I was able to see the golden sparks in his eyes was because it was his soul telling me the magic in him was for me.

The golden light, something everyone had in them was what made someone stand out to you.

Paul was my golden light.

**A/N: They imprinted yay! I know this may seem like she's acting like the cancer isn't serious but you just can't ignore that imprint force ;) so Review please **

**Xoxo- Aaliyah.**


	5. The Eyes Have Spoken

"No way." Paul whispered, his eyes were partially wider than normal. "How could it be you?" he asked though I was sure he wasn't asking me the question directly.

"How could what be me?" I said curiously.

As if Paul had water thrown on him he let go of my arm and took a step back.

"Paul? Are you okay?" I asked moving my head to the side, trying to get a read on him.

"Yeah, I'm fine...I gotta go, I'll see you around Diem." Paul gave me a small smile and continued down the hall.

What the hell? How- Did he not feel it? That invisible power that made a forceful appearance that permanently banded us together? There was no way I was the only one that felt it- this time. I have always felt an invisible force that held me with Paul; I'd always hoped that it would one day make its power known to Paul. And today it did that. I know he felt it too. It was impossible not to.

So why did he just leave like that? Why did he react like that?

After getting a late slip, I walked to my first period class, handing my teacher a slip and sat at my desk not listening whatsoever to what was being said.

How could i?

Nothing felt right. I felt as though Paul just rejected me and that felt even worse than when he was ignoring me a day ago. How in heaven's name am I supposed to pretend if everything got worse and worse every step I took?

Every breath I breathed, something was being taken away from me.

My ignorance. My happiness. My faith.

All I had left was hope and I didn't know how long till that meter ran out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(D)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At lunch I took my normal seat in the forgotten hallway, sitting in front of my locker. I ate my salad quickly and opened up my novel. The great Gatsby, the only thing that has stayed normal over the past few days; normal was something I desperately craved and was glad I found it in Fitzgerald's novel.

For once in my entire life I realized reading couldn't hold my attention, there was just too much stuff going on to try and absorb myself into a book.

I got up and walked into the cafeteria, hoping I would find Paul so we could sort this all out and go back to how we were. I looked around and was surprised when I found him. He told me that Jared has been avoiding him for a week and now he was sitting with him and avoiding me? wasn't that just a tad bit hypocritical? Anger flared inside me, and I strutted over to the table that seemed to be the center of attention until of course I came into view.

"Can you believe she has O/C?" said a voice to my left.

I stopped walking and froze in my spot.

"Apparently she got it from birth controls," said another.

My heart started beating faster than regular.

"Why would she need birth control?" said a voice after scoffing at the statement previous.

"Uhm have you met her best friend? He's a sex god! If I were friends with him I'd be taking birth control too. I would do him all night long."

My breath caught.

"Looks like he won't be sleeping with her anymore. She might as well be a diseased rodent. Maybe I can fill his sexual void."

I looked at Paul with tears in my eyes. Everyone was talking about me and there he sat, not doing anything but staring at me. I quickly turned around and walked back out of the cafeteria and straight into my father's office.

"Dad, I need to go home." I said trying to wipe the salt water that was created from my eyes and sliding down my cheeks. My dad quickly got up from his seat and came over to me.

"What's wrong honey? What happened?" he had his arms wrapped around my shoulders and was squeezing me.

"Everyone knows that I'm diseased dad, " I sobbed into his arms.

"Oh baby, you are not diseased. You will get better, I promise." His voice held a stern tone but I didn't believe it.

"I am! I'm disgusting. I'm tainted and I can't even stop it." I cried even harder, everything was ruined and nothing could be rewinded.

"Oh sweetie, you are not tainted, you are the most beautiful, passionate and strongest person I know," he squeezed me harder and kissed my forehead. "Do you want to go home?" he asked looking like he was going to cry himself.

I pulled away from my Dad's loving embrace and wiped my tears away. My hands were painted with black and I forgot that I had put on mascara and eyeliner today in an attempt to look nice. I snorted, what a waste of time, a dead thought.

"Yes please," I mumbled, still looking down at my hands that were tainted by the black make up.

"Okay. I'll grab my keys and we can go sweetheart." My dad said grabbing his jacket and briefcase.

My life had been invaded by the blackness of the evil in the world. This cancer has tainted my body and killing my happiness with the evilness that filled it in every crevasse.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(D)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I got home I begged my dad to go back to work, I needed to be alone and wanted to have time to cry without the thought of my dad crying secretly with me. I knew every time I shed a tear my dad wanted to too, I couldn't be cruel, I didn't want my dad feeling any worse than when I broke down in his office. So after 23 minutes I finally got him to go back to work.

When I started walking up the stairs, originally heading towards my bedroom but making a bee-line for the bathroom I was surprised with the thoughts that came into play. I looked in the cupboards looking for it, when I finally did I looked in the mirror.

My face was red... as red as it could be with my tan skin.

My eyes were like looking into my soul.

Broken.

I tried talking to myself, trying to talk myself out of what I was about to do but it didn't work.

My voice was broken too.

Without out a second thought I let the silver tip graze against my wrist.

I used to shake my head at people who did that. How could you possibly put yourself through so much pain? If you were hurting that much why wouldn't you try and seek help. For the life of me I tried to understand why people had the thought and the bravery to do it.

I know knew why.

When I saw the burgundy liquid start slipping out of the wound I opened I felt it.

I felt the relief.

The shocking contentment washed over me as the pain from the cut kept leaking onto my tiled, bathroom floor.

The pain you gave yourself was nothing compared to the mental pain.

Physical pain had a way out, the mental pain never would.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(D)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I sat on my bathroom floor crying- something I seemed to be doing a lot since last Wednesday. I couldn't believe I had stooped so low. I held a powder blue wash cloth to my wrist tightly to stop the bleeding. I was angry at myself for becoming something I never wanted to become.

I had people who loved me and I was going to hurt them like this?

It was disgusting.

It was selfish.

I was disgusting.

I folded the wash cloth on my wrist and then taped it with surgical tape my mom got from the La Push clinic. After getting up I got bleach and started cleaning the floor as hard as I could while angry tears mixed with the poison.

After I was done cleaning I picked up the exacto knife and was about to wash it when someone rang the doorbell. I quickly put it behind the vase on top of the sink and ran down the stairs. When I opened the door I immediately slammed it shut.

"Diem, open the door." His deep voice rumbled from the other side of the wooden door.

My back was against the wood and I could still feel the heat that radiated off of Paul's body. My soul still cried for his even after my mind kept telling me it was stupid to let him in after all he had done.

I was having a severe battle : Mind vs . heart and soul.

In the end the soul won.

I opened the door and glared at his beauty.

"What do you want Paul?" my voice was sharp. He must have been as surprised as I was become he took a step back as if I shocked him.

"To talk. Look Diem I'm sorry I rushed to class-" he started talking but I couldn't control the anger that arose in me.

"Do you think I give a fuck if you went to class?" his eyes widened, probably because I never swore unless I was extremely pissed off. "You ignore me for the past several days and the only thing I can think of is ' I hope your alright' then when I finally see you again you stare at me like you've never laid eyes on me before and then you fucking walk off like nothing happened. Do you wanna know the worst thing that's happened in all of this?" I didn't give him time to respond. "My 'best friend' heard that I had cancer and just left me, he heard everyone talking about me and didn't do a fucking damn thing. You are the worst best friend in the whole entire world." I said in a menacing voice glaring at him.

When I finally looked at him, I mean really looked at him I realized a tear had fallen from his left eye.

My anger faded.

I took a step back into my house, I had done that. I had made my best friend, the love of my life feel pain. I had allowed the anger to control me and hurt Paul.

I really was selfish.

"Paul, I'm sorry." I whispered.

He quickly looked at me with a weird expression as if to say ' what are you sorry for' but before I could answer him our eyes met and I felt it. I felt the anguish, the hurt but mostly the regret he felt. He walked towards me until he was directly in front of me and peered down into my brown eyes as if he never wanted to look elsewhere.

The deeper I looked into his eyes the more the gold arose and spoke to me.

His eyes said I'm sorry.

My eyes said you're forgiven.

And then we kissed.

I don't know who leaned into whom, but I felt his soul drawing me in as I'm sure my heart was pulling him closer. The kiss started off slow, hesitant. Then after we got over the shock of kissing our best friend it became more heated. My hands were fisted in his hair and his hands were at my waist feeding my bare skin with his burning desire. His fire erupted with in me and I licked his bottom lip asking for entrance, he opened his mouth and our tongues danced and our souls smiled at the happiness at finally being where we belonged.

**A/N: hey guys, lemme know whatcha think! And don't worry they are Definitely going to talk in the next chapter **** Review if possible, thanks .**

**-Aaliyah xoxox**


	6. That Force

When we broke apart and I stared into his eyes, the gold was even more dominant, capturing my gaze and holding it until Paul looked away. His golden light spoke volumes to me and it was beautiful. Paul was beautiful.

"Diem? Why are you staring at me like that?" Paul's voice was as soft as his hand feeling the side of my cheek. He was staring at me in amazement and I have never been more confused.

"Your eyes- your eyes are so beautiful." I whispered then smiled when I saw his lips twitch; instead of producing one of his glorious smiles he kissed me. When he pulled away I asked the major question.

"Why did you kiss me?" I looked straight into his eyes for about 5 seconds before I lost all my courage and looked down.

"Because I love you." He said.

I shook my head not believing it.

How could Paul possibly love someone like me?

"Since when?" I snorted before asking, now looking at him but avoiding the eyes that were desperately trying to bring me to look at them.

"Diem," he shook his head and had a small smile on his face. "I've been in love with you all my life." He took my hands and started massaging my wrists but soon stopped the motion. He looked down and noticed the washcloth on my wrist that had a few spots of blood splattered on it. He instantly went from contentment to angry in a flash.

He squeezed both of my hands pretty tightly and was whispering something to himself that was too low for me to hear.

"Diem. Please tell me this was not on purpose." His voice sounded strained and he had his eyes closed.

"I- I couldn't-" I couldn't say anything. He knew before he asked me what the answer was, I couldn't lie to him even if he didn't read me that well.

He opened his eyes and they were blazing with rage.

"At first I started to resent the world for trying to take you away from me and now I come to find it's you who wants to be away from me." his voice was filled with pain, something in my heart clutched at me and it hurt.

A rock was being thrown at my heart and I was the one who caused it.

"No Paul, I'm not, I- I just- everything was against me, I felt so alone, you were avoiding me, I'm living with one of the top killing cancers...it just got to be too much. But I promise I'll never do it again." My eyes were watering; the pain on his face when I mentioned feeling alone was like a boulder being thrown at my heart.

That hurt even more.

Suddenly he got up and ran up my stairs, I followed him as quickly as I could and when I got there I saw that he had the knife that was still tainted with my blood in his hand, gripping it so tight I was sure it was going to leave an imprint.

"What are you doing Paul?" my voice was quivering.

"If you mean what you said, I'm taking this so you can never use this again. I meant what I said Diem, I love you and I can't stand the thought of you trying to take yourself away from me, so I'm going to stop the primary cause now." His voice radiated possessiveness and my soul jumped for joy- no literally that's what it felt like.

I walked over to him and took his free hand and intertwined our fingers then looked him in the eye.

"I love you Paul. So much." I said.

He leaned down and kissed me, this time slowly, passionately.

And once again I felt that force pushing us to stay like this forever.

Paul soon pulled away.

"Do you feel that?" he asked unsure. "That- that-"

"That force that's pushing me towards you? Yeah I feel it." I smiled at him.

"I guess I should explain what it means." He said while grabbing my hand and leading me down the stairs.

Before we walked down the stairs Paul threw the blade as far as he could and it disappeared into the forest. When we got down the stairs Paul pulled me into the living room and sat me down facing him.

"Do you remember our legends?" he said looking at me. I gave a 'duh' look and he rolled his eyes. "Oh yeah, how could I forget your Spirit wife phase?" he chuckled.

"Hey! She basically saved Taha Aki!" I defended my secret obsession that of course only he knew about.

"That she did. Diem you have to have an open mind about this." He looked at me meaningfully.

"OK Paul," I smiled at him reassuringly.

"I'm a-" before he could finish his sentence a wolf howled although it sounded like at least 10 I knew it was only one.

Wolves were prone to make their voices vibrate and make it seem like there were more wolves then just one.

"Dammit, Diem I have to go. I promise we'll talk later." He kissed me on the lips softly. "I love you Lily." I smiled when he used my nickname, making his accusation of loving me seem that much more genuine.

"I love you too Otis." He smiled and then left.

A few minutes after Paul left my mom came home, her hands filled with brown paper bags that held groceries in them.

"Hey mom," I smiled when she jumped.

"Diem what are you doing home? Skipping school? Waiting for a boy?" she wiggled her eyebrows and I laughed. I was extremely grateful my mom was acting like normal, it's what I needed.

I got up and followed her in the kitchen to put the groceries away.

"Well something kinda happened at school...and I asked dad to come home," I said still smiling, I honestly couldn't stop smiling.

My mom immediately put the groceries on the counter and looked at me. Oh no. I knew that looked.

"What happened at school?" she said taking her keys out of her purse and started heading towards the front door. I rushed to the door to stop her.

"Mom it wasn't that bad," she gave me a dubious look. "some of the kids just said a couple things that got to me...no big deal." I said all this with a small smile which seemed to piss my mom off more.

"Than why are you smiling?" she asked.

"Because of what happened afterwards." I smiled brightly.

My mom instantly went back to 'big sister mode' and squealed.

"Ouuu what happened afterwards?" she asked while pulling me to the kitchen bar stools and sat beside me.

"Paul came over and-"

"You guys did the nasty!?" my mom said smiling like a nut job.

"No!" I playfully glared at her. Sometimes I wondered if my mom was from a different planet, I mean what mom was excited their daughter finally had sex? Weren't most moms constantly shoving abstinence down there child's throat? And here my mom was pushing it.

"Oh you guys have no fun." My mom said getting gloomy.

I stared at her for a couple seconds.

Yup definitely from another planet.

"Anyway, Paul said he loved me." I smiled at the memory and the shock on my mom's face.

"And you guys didn't have sex? I mean it's perfectly plausible. You and Paul have known each other for a long long time honey." She said in a convincing voice.

"Mom I don't know if Paul and I are even together and I wouldn't just have sex with him as soon as we start going out." I said trying to talk some sense into my psycho mother.

"Oh honey, you and Paul were always _together_. So did any action go on or not?" she said mildly curious.

I mentally shrugged and through the dog a bone.

"We kissed... more than once." I wiggled my eyebrows just to make her that much more happy.

She wrapped me in a bone shattering hug.

"Oh baby I knew you had it in you!" she swayed me back on forth. "I'm going to make you lasagna for dinner." She got off the bar stool beside mine and started taking out the ingredients. I rolled my eyes and started helping her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(D)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My dad dropped me at school and immediately went to Paul's locker waiting for him. I didn't hear from him the rest of the night yesterday except for a text that, I must admit, made me sleep with a smile on my face. When I got to Paul's locker I saw Jared there...weird. He smiled when he saw me and started to walk over.

"Hi Diem." He said politely.

"Hi Jared," I smiled at him. " Do you know where Paul is?"

"Uh yeah, Paul won't be coming to school today but he said to make sure you were protected so here I am." Jared smiled, he was cute but had nothing on Paul.

We started walking to the quad to wait for Kim, something Jared told he did every day.

"That's cute, you seem really...attached to her after only...4 days?" I raised my eyebrow. He shrugged.

"What can I say? She has a hold on me." he smiled. "There she is." I turned to look in the direction and surely enough Kim was walking towards us.

Kim was petite, long raven hair, high cheekbones and tanned skin.

I always thought she had an exotic look to her, something you would think the boys would be attracted to seeing as she looked different from everyone that lived around here but she didn't get attention from boys until Jared came along.

When she saw Jared's smile for her smile came easily and she started walking faster; like she needed to be with him or she would stop breathing.

This day was going to be interesting.

Very interesting.

**A/N: here you go lovely's **** if you have any ideas let me know and if you want lemons let me know, I know where I want this story to go but I'm kinda of making up the in between stuff as I go along lol so if you wanna put any of your personal inputs I'm open for ideas, review ? **

**-Aaliyahxoxox**


	7. So Monumental

Wasn't life funny? Once it wanted to take you away from the world that's when everything got interesting. Almost as if it knew you were leaving, it wanted to give you everything you wanted- everything you hoped for, just so you could say you lived life to the fullest and possibly mean it.

I wanted to go back to the deserted hallway and be invested into a Fitzgerald novel.

Jared wouldn't let that happen.

He insisted- more like forced me to eat lunch with him and Kim. You'd think that he'd want more alone time with her after all they weren't officially dating...but no. I was pulled up from the lovely ground and dragged to Jared and Paul's deserted table.

The weirdest thing was; no one expected Kim or me to be invited to the 'V.I.P' table... but here we were.

"So how has your day been so far Diem?" Kim asked smiling.

Kim Conweller. The school's biggest art 'geek', the nicest person I've ever met and yet she was an outcast.

That's the thing at La Push, if your family makes a mistake you're to blame. Kim's father was having an affair with a white woman from Forks. About 8 months ago, it was rumored that her father left Kim's mom and went to live in Forks.

Kim wasn't like me, although she was classified as a nerd- isn't that funny? Because you have a passion n something it makes you uncool- she still had friends. After the rumour swept through all of La Push , Kim's original friends dropped her like a hot potato.

The world was a cruel place we all just had to deal with.

Some dealt with it in alone...

Others had an army.

Kim and I... we were one in the same.

"Great, Mrs. Clarke gave us a new English assignment. I can't wait to read the books on the reading list she handed out." I smiled just thinking about all the worlds beyond my life that I would get to experience. "How about yours?" I asked kindly.

"Mine was alright; I have an art show tomorrow, so Miss Richards has excused me from all my morning classes to finish my last piece. "

"What time is it tomorrow?" Jared asked, who was just watching us converse with a smile on his face.

"It's at 4, but I already told you, you don't have to come." Kim said blushing. It was cute, everyone knew- except for Jared- that Kim had had a crush on Jared for years. It was only now he started noticing her...

Why was that?

It was almost the same thing with Paul and I...

Wasn't it?

Both guys all of sudden showed interest in us?

Even though Paul and I were friends before his appearance changed, why, all of a sudden did he decide to express his love to me?

Especially if he felt it for years?

What was so monumental about these few weeks?

"Of course I'm coming." He smiled at her making the red tinge to her cheeks become more prominent.

"I'll come to if you want, I usually go with my mom but I could ride with you." I smiled.

Kim and I – I had a strong feeling- were going through the same thing with the boys, we would both need each other.

"That would be great! We could get ready together too," she smiled at me.

For the rest of lunch the three of us continued talking like we've been best friends forever.

It was weird...and yet?

Oddly comforting.

I knew Paul and I were meant for each other; meant to be in each other's lives.

But it felt like Kim and I were meant to be in each other's lives, Jared too, why was that?

It felt like all the puzzles in my life were slowly finding the pieces that fit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(D)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After school I went straight home and decided to catch up on my homework. My dad dropped me off then went back to work for a board meeting. When I walked to my room I almost had a heart attack.

"Paul what in heaven's name are you doing here? In my bedroom?" I shrieked.

"I just thought I'd surprise you," he smiled. "You're mom let me in," he got up from my bed and took a bunch of silver and gold packets from his pockets." I turned a couple of shades of red.

"Why do- where did- why do you have that?" I sputtered out gaping at the contents he just dropped on my bed. There must have been about 20 of them.

"You're mom gave them to me. She also told me where the box was if I ever ran out." He smirked.

I face palmed. Why oh why did my mom have to be so open? Especially after I told her Paul and I weren't even official.

"One day someone's gunna come to our door in a lab coat asking for her." I muttered to myself.

I then walked to the laptop in my room sitting on the desk and sat down on the computer chair. I spun the chair around so I was facing Paul and couldn't help the smile that formed.

He really was something to look at.

It was like looking at the ocean, you knew what it looked like but every time you would look at it again you found something new, something old, and something that could make you look for ever.

True beauty.

Pure.

He was looking at me too, as if I was a true beauty.

I knew not everyone saw the beauty of every person, but if he did? That was pure.

"So why weren't you at school today skipper?" I said, while turning on my computer.

"Had to do a couple of things, how was your day?" he asked smiling.

"It was...new. Why did Jared have to protect me? Protect me from what?" I asked facing him again.

"From anything that could possibly hurt you, the assholes we call peers, from being alone and thinking too much," he smiled at me, "from tripping on the stairs. The list is endless." He chuckled when he saw my glare.

"I only tripped because you stuck your foot out when I criticised your essay." He caught me so I didn't face plant to the floor but I still got angry...for about 5 seconds.

He laughed, a joyous laugh and it was lovely. I loved it.

Ever since his epic change his face seemed older and he looked angrier, but now he looked like the little kid I pushed in 2nd grade and that made my heart smile.

"Are you gunna tell me why you brought up our legends the other day?" I asked with my head tilted and a smile painted on my face.

He stopped laughing and immediately went stiff.

Like a flipped a switch, the raw happiness that surrounded Paul one moment went away once I asked the question.

"How much time do we have before your parents come home?" he asked in a serious tone.

I looked at the time across from him, on my nightstand.

"About 10 before my mom comes home." Then I remembered something. "When did she let you in?"

"About 2 hours before school ended. She forgot her cell phone." He said. He then took a deep breath and stood up. "I think its best we go on a walk." His voice unrecognizable.

"Why is that?" I asked hesitantly.

"Because hopefully you'll be reminded that I'm still the same person." He then walked to my door and left, knowing I was following him.

What was that supposed to mean?

Still the same person as what?

"Paul, that doesn't make any sense." I said confused.

"It will. Grab a coat it's cold." We walked downstairs so we could go outside. Even though he told me to grab a coat he went to the closet and grabbed my magenta parka and handed it to me.

I looked at him. He just stared back with his hand raised waiting for me to take the jacket.

"I don't think it'll be that cold outside Paul." Although I took the coat anyway, once I had it on he opened the front door to my house.

"No, but people get cold when they're scared." He said and then stepped out of my house, me trailing after him.

A/N: I'm SO SO SO SO SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG ! I just started college and ya... it's hectic. But don't worry this story is no longer on hiatus Enjoy! And please Review! - A


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